How to lose a girl in five days
By Tahnee Brahim
There comes a time in every single girl’s life when she asks herself: “Is it me? Or is it the entire male population?”
While there are a few good men out there (some of them on the Frock Paper Scissors team!), there are also a lot of poor fellows running around dateless, due to the fact they have no idea about what women really want, or how to treat them.
So as one of these single girls, my time has come to educate mankind on the dating myths.
Concept: How not to land a girl (aka the dating games boys play that girls hate).
1. Ask her out via Facebook or text. It might make her feel somewhat special to know that you scrolled through your phone/friends list and settled on her, but try calling her! Extra brownie points if you send her a pretty card or write it in chalk on the road outside her house.
2. Wait three days before you text her. The fastest way to lose a girl’s interest is to keep her waiting and wondering whether you like her or fell off the face of the earth. Making a girl wait is a guaranteed black mark next to your name. In this day and age there is no excuse for being late to a date, not sending a follow up text/email/Facebook notification afterwards or never calling her again.
This is the way a girl’s mind works when a guy follows the three-day post date rule:
Day 1: Last night was so great, I can’t wait for the next date. He hasn’t called yet, but maybe his phone died or he’s gone over his cap. No big deal.
Day 2, AM: I wonder why he hasn’t called. Maybe there’s been some sort of family emergency or he went out of town for work…
Day 2, PM: Why doesn’t he like me? He still hasn’t called, but he was online on Facebook, and ignored me when I talked to him? Maybe he forgot he was logged in.
(By this point, the girl of your dreams has likely called a slew of girlfriends who have told her that you don’t know what you’re missing out on and you’re a fool for not contacting her.)
Day 3: I can’t believe I wasted time on him! He has weird earlobes and chews with his mouth open.
Many girls will look for faults in a bid to get over a date that may have been exceptional, but lacked any follow-up contact. If the date didn’t go as you had hoped, get in touch and suggest doing something as friends. Don’t lead girls on. It’s rude.
3. Treat them mean, keep them keen. When has this ever worked? There is nothing worse than being horrible to a girl because you think it will make them like you. It might have been the courting method du jour in primary school, but there’s a good chance you won’t get far with the same philosophy once you are over the age of 10.
The next time you’re considering being horrible to a girl because “it will win her over”, remember: when girls get treated poorly by guys, they tell their friends about it. Keep that in mind, just in case you ever want to date a girl who may have heard about your poor dating manners.
4. Promote the belief that chivalry is dead. Ever heard the saying “It’s the little things that make all the difference”? Girls like to be treated as ladies, so opening a door for your date or pulling out her chair says a lot about your character.
5. Ask her to pay. Nine times out of 10, a girl will readily pay her own way, but it doesn’t hurt to at least offer, especially if you have asked her out on a date. If she insists on paying for herself, let her, but at least make the gesture to pay until you are told otherwise.
